|“||Vanilla is the standard default flavour we all start from...||”|
|— Marcus Morgan, The IJAMA Ice Cream Code Guide|
What is meant by vanilla depends on the person who uses the term and the context: Among heterosexual couples in the Western world, vanilla sex often refers to the missionary position. Among homosexual men the same term sometimes implies that the activity is non-insertive. One spouse may use it to refer to her/his spouse who doesn't care to participate in such unconventional sexual activities.
The term vanilla derives from the use of vanilla extract as the basic flavoring for ice cream, and by extension meaning "plain" or "conventional". Thus, vanilla is sometimes used as an insult to describe someone who is overly conventional or unwilling to take risks, in both sexual and non-sexual contexts.
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